Chacos

For those of you who do not know what Chacos are: they are simply the most amazing type of footwear currently known to man. They look like sandals, but are so much more. If you mixed a Merrell hiking boot with the same sandals Jesus wore, one would get Chacos. I have yet to find an occasion in which my Chacos are not appropriate. I have decided to make a list of the activities I have performed while wearing my Chacos. I may also add some that I have seen or heard of. This is a very short list and does not begin to list the uses for such an amazing sandal. If I ever settle in a developing country, I will do all I can to make sure the indigenous people around me own a pair. Unfortunately the sandals are expensive and could probably not be distributed in a way that Toms shoes are.

If anyone has one to add, feel free to comment below. Although I cannot attach any photos, I am sure I will be tagged doing these activities on Facebook at some point. This is 20 out of 6,726 things one can do while wearing Chacos. They are in no particular order.

Ping-Pong
I have never felt more agile.

Weddings
I have never been married, but many people have. And I have heard of people getting married in Chacos.

Basketball
I practically flew from one end of the court to the other; getting traction like no other. I don’t remember missing a shot either. I cannot dunk in basketball shoes, but I can two-hand slam it in my Chacos.

Football
I have never been tackled wearing them.

Soccer
I was able to kick someone in the face without moving my leg.

Hiking/Climbing
Check Guinness book of World Records 2010.

Church
I have gotten so many compliments on how beautiful my feet look at church.

Cross Country
I literally ran across the country and didn’t need any water to drink.

Sprinting
My forty yard run was timed at 3.3 seconds in these sandals.

Sleep
Coma like sleep

Eat
Last week I consumed three plates in three seconds.

Elephant Safari
I tamed the elephants with them.

Bungee Jumping
My friend wore his Chacos to bungee jump and didn’t have to use a chord.

Rafting the Nile
I didn’t even have to use a raft.

Insanity
Rebecca Daggett could only do 12 pushups barefooted. When she put her Chacos on, she was able to do 67 without stopping.

Speak Tonga
Once my sandals are strapped on, I can speak any tongue I desire.

Hunting
Several of us went hunting with some of the locals. Or should I say that we went killing?

Sing
Majestically 

Read
As long as I am wearing my sandals I don’t have to open the book to read; I simply just think about it.

Slaughtering animals
…using nothing but my bare hands.

Not only are all these activities POSSIBLE wearing Chacos, but the Chacos actually make one better at each. I can dive off of cliffs with better form. I can run faster. I can kick the soccer ball further. I can win every game of ping pong. I can jump higher. I WIN wearing these sandals. I can swim and climb faster than ever before. I can shower in these sandals (“Chaco shower”). While I have these sandals on I become smarter and I can feel more oxygen in each breath. Chacos enhance my ability to live.